Coach Sigrid

What will I focus on today?

What will I focus on… today?

When I first wrote about working from home and dealing with being quarantined, I (like many of you) didn't imagine that we would be in this situation for months. Now that I have been home for weeks, with no end in sight, I've put together a list of things I've learned work for me. These hints keep me not only making it through the day, but growing and mostly thriving.

First, I am becoming really aware of what impacts my mental wellbeing. I went from obsessively reading news and checking case numbers from all over the world several times a day, to focussing on local news and new rules that impacted my behaviour daily, to now only checking in every few days. I started noticing that even a negative headline could and would derail my wellbeing. So I stopped… and felt much better. Now, this isn't exactly a new idea. In fact, I've been teaching and coaching people that we need to be careful when we tune into the news, since our brain is quick to recognize threats and the news organizations are brilliant at using this to keep us hooked and coming back for more. I have become much more keenly aware that I absolutely need to limit my intake of news to very little or none, at least at this time. I would invite you to notice how much news, and information about the virus and its impact, you can consume before it impacts you negatively. How much do you need to know to be safe? How much more can you consume before it hurts you? Think about it in terms of the time you spend on each. I'll bet that those numbers are VERY different.

Following this, I've also much more diligent in focussing my attention on what I can control, rather than what I am missing, or cannot do, or cannot control. I can't control how long this situation will last. I can't control where it is safe or advisable for me to go. I can't necessarily control when I do need to expose myself to more risk (either because of work or because I need to go and get food). I CAN control whether I buy more cookies or more healthy food... I CAN control whether I move my body a little more every day… I CAN control who I reach out to for support… I CAN control whether I watch or re-watch a movie that makes me howl with laughter… I CAN control whether to skim the local news for relevant info or whether I immerse myself for hours on irrelevant news. So, I am getting better at noticing what I focus on and refocusing on what I CAN control. I can certainly control what I do… and so I am focussing on doing a bit more creating and a little less consuming online (or off… that kitchen is just so close at all times, isn't it?)

Finally, I am also learning how incredibly resilient we all are. This is difficult. We humans are wired to live in packs and now our packs have to function very differently. But I remind myself how much has changed and yet how we have adapted. A few months ago, had someone told us that we would automatically step about 6 feet apart when approaching someone, that we would be quarantined in our homes for weeks, that we would have our children learning from home, that we would be adjusting to connecting through Zoom and other online technologies with our parents and grandparents… and all this change within a few weeks, I would have laughed and told that person that they were crazy. And yet here we are, having fundamentally changed how we live… perhaps not perfectly adjusted, perhaps not perfectly happy (then, again, were we perfectly happy before?) and yet… making it work, for the most part. We are resilient and we will make it. I truly believe this. And I truly believe that really practicing focus on what we can control, kindness towards ourselves and other, and remembering how strong we are can help us make it through with a bit more grace and peace.

Big virtual hugs to all of you.